Psychosomatic reactions to various triggers, including scents, are pretty well documented. Sniffing is a little less offensive, as people with colds or allergies frequently sniff throughout the day but do not do so to be rude. Natural stuff and the high end perfumes dont seem to cause the same reactions, unless Im already in the middle of a reaction chain. They want to make it seem like you are not a good fit for the job. There are limits of what you can realistically ask of people. I was thinking that too. I doubt shes likely to react well to someone suggesting this possibility. If it is bullying, then standing up for your right not to be verbally abused may help. Patchouli is a STRONG scent. And I was laughed at. Either way, what your coworker is doing is not cool, and you have standing to talk to your manager if it continues. One option would be to talk to your manager. I was more than willing to not wear perfume and make sure I wasnt wearing any heavily-scented products, but theres a limit. Or, you could treat it like other medical accommodations, and look to HR for guidance on how to make things work. I once had to use a scented detergent on my clothes because we were out of unscented. I understand that fragrances can be bothersome (I dont like many of them myself), but the coworker needs to define whether this goes beyond plain bothersome into I-cannot-concentrate territory. I think those comments are more along the lines of eliminate every possible culprit so that you can prove its not you, That and the How can you make her stop already (other than addressing it with her). Makes me smell like an old shoe. Several people wrote in to say that . To qualify as a hostile work environment, the conduct must be offensive not only to the employee, but also to a reasonable person in the same circumstances. Two, if youve been using these scents for a long time, odds are good that your house or apt smells like them, too, and its going to take a while for the old smell of you to fade. Not everything can be accommodated. Youre right that at this point shes probably already tried most or all of these things it really does sound like the OP is being extremely accommodating! They lead the meeting after the meeting. Or, if OP isnt the type to be cold at work, perhaps a fan set on low that could blow the scented air away from the coworker? Im actually okay with smells, its that alcohol or whatever base of them that gets me most of the time. It literally smells so strongly it reaches the entire office. Issues are raised. I expected him to accommodate my scent-aversion because I lived with him! Being shady such as embellishing on something that a co-worker did wrong Kissing up to the manager and then breaking rules behind their back or not doing their job. Agreed on the connotation, but I also note that its got some nice up-market uses as well; Chanels Coromandel is one of my favorite perfumes, and its built on a patchouli note. Oh, like I can use neutragena sensitive skin moisturizer and I can use neutragena sensitive skin sunscreen, but if I use neutragena sensitive skin moisturizer with sunscreen, I break out in a horrible painful rash. You want it to stop. Its really hard to explain to people. Maybe the OP or the manager can talk with the cleaning crew to find out what products they are using to clean the desks, carpets, etc. It could be that every time you move the chair or the decorative pillow or whatever other object that may have been infused with scent, that it unleashes a little puff of scent. to me and I find it nauseating. In the last few years Ive suddenly become extremely sensitive to eating sounds. I cant pinpoint the source, but they have a very distinct smell. True, but even the boss shouldnt be expected to get dressed in the garage. I hate it having hose nose because of miso I fully understand others hating sniffling but hose nose leaves me no choice. But Im not going to ask another person to never drink that tea again. Colloquially, anything scented you use for the scent (and not to wash, etc) is commonly referred to as perfume. Its just her dryer sheets, but it lingers for several months. Yep, I worked at a Panda Express for a few months almost 10 years ago. Its a hippie scentmaybe. I cant leave my clothes in my front loader over night or they smell bad (at least to me). But I also think it can be Pavlovian, where you see the person you identify with a scent and smell it, even if theres no actual scent around you. But it can also be something in the building, in the carpet, or any other thing. I would second Allisons advice to talk to your manager if this was happening to one of my employees I would want to know about it. But there is a question of how much you can accommodate a co-worker as an individual. Is it really noticeable? Sigh. Not to mention, if the only change was the perfume you started wearing, then not wearing it anymore and cleaning all your clothes should have stopped the problem. Stay calm. Because apparently I couldnt resist saying that chicken definitely has at least as much innate flavour as any other meat, just different. :). He probably has a sick crush on you. I hate the taste/smell of passion fruit now because of some misadventures involving passion fruit-flavored rum that happened over a year ago. My unscented antiperspirant has a masking fragrance, which fortunately doesnt bother me. When used often enough, this technique can make your colleague think twice about the . Its your co-workers responsibility to go to their supervisor with a request for accommodation, doing the formal form filled out by a physician versus going to you each time she doesnt like the way you smells when you have done everything that you can do to accommodate her. I had a similar experience with norovirus and a bacon and Stilton jacket potato; it was years before I could look Stilton in the eye again! He serves as the Studio's sports and recreation section expert. My stepsister is the same with Bath & Body Works Coconut Lime Verbenait was the smell that first set her off when she was pregnant with her daughter, and to this day (kiddo is 10) that scent is a firm no. If most people cant smell whatever your current perfume load is, then its not your problem if one person is bothered. Youve done your fair share in this situation, she is the one lacking. This happened a couple more times over the next few months, at which point I went to my manager to let her know this was impacting my health and work and to see if it would be possible to find a resolution. As someone who is very sensitive to scents, I just wanted to say to the LW how NICE it is that you put in so much effort to be un-scented! I suffer from phantom scents (associated with seizures). My female coworker puts on a lot of perfume. Your coworker could merely be bothered, in which case its up to them to get over it. Thats where my confusion is too. She may have to wear one of those paper face masks. There has to be a boundary of reasonable action, and I think that the OP has done pretty much everything reasonable. However, I noticed you said you stopped wearing perfume but have you also stopped using the indie oil scents? The manager role is responsible for guiding, coaching, onboarding and exceeding targets for a team of up to 8 AMs. Why dont men want to be with me? and I wanted to scream at her you want to know why no one wants to date you? On the plus side, I did learn how to ask for anti-histimine cream and tablets in Spanish. Changes in temperature or barometric pressure can also cause non-allergic rhinitis, he adds. And Im certainly not going to be a jerk about it. What else can be done? Im not allergic, but it just has such a terrible chemical smell that just lingers forever if my coworker wanted to get rid of me, spraying my stuff with Febreeze would do it! . What can I say, I both went through a goth phase in high school AND lived in San Francisco for several years! I was so sick that night. Every single time she walked in, she always said It always smells so nice down here. And then she would call me by the wrong name. This women used lemon scented Clorox wipes. I started in the last year of primary school, I also drive my family insane and myself it's so irritating, it's as if I can't breathe and my nose is inflamed or tight and I need to sniff to clear it even though there's nothing there, it's really embarrassing and it tried loads of nasal sprays and even been to ent had a camera up my nose but he couldn't see anything. Now I don't know what to do. If this is the case and I were the OP, Id be inclined to tell a coworker that Ive done what I can, and unfortunately the scent-sensitive among us have to find a way to deal with the fact that there are unpleasant smells in this world. If a coworker is constantly complaining about you, keep a record. Then try to have a calm, sensible conversation with someone while exposed to that irritant. The cuffs absolutely did smell like patchouli but I had gone nose blind to it. Peachie, you gave it away a little when you said your mother eats with her mouth open. Thats trueif I use even diluted vinegar I have to rewash after with normal detergent (unscented is fine). Not only that, but it can also be a sign that your female coworker likes you but is hiding it. I've already encountered six this morning and didn't even get public transport to work (the worst danger zone). All the advice about deep cleaning all bedding and coats and switching detergents and shampoos and the like is baffling. If OP had ever mentioned using indie oils or not liking chemical smells to coworker it may have given coworker the idea that OP was more naturally inclined or alternative leaning (not that those things really imply anything, I just think coworker is looking for something to pick on). It would be awful to hear that you smell everyday. If the interruptions continue, speak to the person in private. That was me! Scent memory is powerful. Im chemically sensitive to cheap perfumes, something in the inexpensive stuff triggers asthma and migraines. (Which is why, if I were her coworker, Id be looking for accommodation. If some of these ideas dont work, I might try asking her, What, exactly, are you smelling? Some spells last for hours, some all day and some effect me breathing as well as I am constantly sniffling. Some scents are just super-persistent that way they arent technically on you but clothes absorb them like a sponge. I honestly just remembered there was a scented lotion I used to wear, and I would notice the smell on my clothes even after I washed them. Theyre going through chemo, they may as well have a pleasant food. I have asked my boss and others who say I am fragrance free. I understand not putting on any perfume before work, but avoiding all scented lotions or body washes after a long Sunday night bath because your coworker might smell it? A lot of times they put them on 12 hours ago for a night out and arent planning on taking a shower until after work the next day. In the case of sniffing, offer your colleague a box of tissues or suggest that she should stay home until she feels better. Gym stories. When a guy opens up to you, he has feelings for you. I think we can all agree that the best outcome would be for OP to shave her head, live in a sterilization chamber, and wear a new sterile smock every day. Cant they pick a food thats less nice? STOP WEARING THE ESSENTIAL OILS. Detergents, bath soaps for the kids (I still use my cheap stuff for myself though). I'd excuses myself and if boss asked why I'd say I can't be near someone who sniffles or. For the two years I worked there, there was not another issue. I just wanted to thank you for being considerate to your coworker and refraining from wearing your perfumes to work. Theres no legal definition of unscented and fragrance-free, so companies can slap that label any product. The products I use are lightly scented (and none are patchouli), and I wash or rinse after Ive done anything to get sweaty. I nearly had to go to the ER due to a lady meeting with my boss about Rotary. Oh well then.if she just doesnt like it, thats just too bad. I dont have anything new/useful to add, but it sounds like youve gone above and beyond to accommodate your coworker. Exactly this is someone whos enjoying her petty little power trip and bending OP to their will, is how its coming off to me. All Rights Reserved. For instance, if you're on the phone with a customer, do not hang up on them as soon as they start cursing. I will stop wearing perfume for a coworkers benefit; I am not going to change my detergent, stop using my preferred soap, stop using lotion, stop using scented candles/incense/whatever around my own home or replace my furniture or clothing. We have no HR director, the owner refuses to address this. Toronto-based journalist William McCoy has been writing since 1997, specializing in topics such as sports, nutrition and health. If that doesn't do it, HR or headphones. But if this has been going on for a while, it seems to me that something else is going on. Yeah, I was wondering if OP burns incense or something like an essential oil diffuser at home and it sticks to the clothing even after theyre washed. Thats rough, though I hope you can work it out. Its very distracting, and personally I find it disgusting. Sometimes the smell of our homes gets on our clothing, so our clothing smells like it even if we didnt intentionally put it there, and we may not notice it. Im sensitive to even small amounts. I get the sense that this issue of sensitivity to smells is very cultural. You've been told. It was actually a specific experiment testing chemotherapy-related food aversions. Consider having a friend/family member (who doesnt live with you!) Im going to ask that we stop with those suggestions now and instead focus on how she should deal with the coworker, which I think will be more helpful to her. If one were going to be pedantic about it, the solid perfumes would be the only ones properly referred to by the word perfume. Its one thing to stop wearing scents. +10000 the phrase is reasonable accomodation and op has gone above and beyond. Idk why he doesn't use a tissue. I didnt know the immune system could even distinguish between synthetic and natural molecules, but it sounds fascinating. Luckily for the me vs. scent sensitivity problem a lot of added fragrances give me issues as well so generally you cannot smell any of my stuff unless youre WAY up in my personal space. But as I would have liked to tell some otherwise lovely people I encountered during my time in Santa Cruz, it is NOT a substitute for a shower. I dont think its reasonable for her to avoid a scent just because someone somewhere might hate it. So, if you use patchouli at all at home or on the weekends I wouldnt be surprised if its noticeable to people. If someone else wants to wear it, thats their prerogative. Im saying this as someone with almost no sense of smell, so my word is worth nothing, but I really really bet thats whats going on. It seems like some people in an office environment get a pet Thing To Complain About and lose track of either the importance or the existence of the Thing, sometimes both. No. At this point, the issue is that she has a coworker whos being rude and snarky to her, not that she should just stop using bubble bath on weekends or so forth. If it is a power trip/mean girl thing, as several commenters have suggested (and I agree) it might just set her off again, and I would lose my bargaining piece of No, seriously, Im not wearing anything, shes just being a jerk.. And laundry care routines arent always simple either my mom has allergic reactions to many common brands of detergent, so finding a new unscented brand that doesnt make her break out in hives would be, again, a trial and error process that could get expensive fast. When I mentioned it to the host, she looked baffled and said she couldnt smell anything. It wouldnt make the way she treats the OP any more acceptable but it would at least explain whats happening. To be driven mad by a colleague. This isnt because OP has done anything wrongin fact, shes done everything right and has gone So many products are scented cleaners, hand sanitisers, perfumes, breath sprays, cigarette smoke, pet dander, food & chewing gum, office supplies like sharpies & toners & even scented pencils Odours can linger for a very long time & the amalgamation might simply remind her of your scent. Its like the difference between having a smoke-free workplace and demanding that employees not smoke at home. Yeah, you have definitely gone above and beyond to accommodate this coworker. this depends largely on the severity of their reaction. Is it at all possible that after a long time of using scents theyre settled into a chair or the office? Let go of the guilt. Hopefully she can get her coworker to stop! I get it, scent sensitivities are no joke, and I am more than willing to do what I can make the office space as pleasant as possible, but wheres the line on what you can and cant use in your personal life because it might bother someone somewhere if you step out your front door? People are pretty accommodating when its a medical reason. Unfortunately theres no way to pinpoint it unless you literally go sniffing around. At this point I feel like it would be a bad idea to wear *any* perfume around her, patchouli or no. This gesture is used by men to display a dominant, sexually aggressive attitude. After everything LW has gone through, she has more than complied. I just get so anxious about it that I smell phantom pee. :(. I think at this point and said above in more detail that its now time to do a the Voice type test to find out if the smell is part of the office, or settled in the mind of the coworker to the point that they smell it if its not there. Alison gave you the next steps so go from there. Agreed. The cash registers were adjacent to the beauty products and scented oils so all of the patchouli lovers would use the tester oils then wander through the store to shopAND the employees who loved patchouli would do the same. They might even do it when it's inconvenient for themselves. if there was someone I work with who had a scent sensitivity, Id be sensitive to that. For a while I just wore grapefruit scented essential oil on my wrists and neck instead of perfume, but it would fade away so fast I eventually just stopped. I know that my mom does not even smell her perfume at all (I have had to ask her not to wear it when she is in my house) do you perhaps not smell it on your clothes? I have some sympathy for people with asthma, etc, but I have to admit not as much as others on the board. But to negatively comment about any group is . Its like once I hear a sound that bothers me, I can no longer filter it out. I do keep it open when not in use, but it gets gross anyway. Happily it stops when I lay-down so sleeping is ok. Also it stops from time to time with out any reasonI try to analyse why but no results. Youve really gone out of your way to accommodate her, and she truly cant expect (or reasonably ask) for more. I like the good humor and kindness with which youre responding :). Id take I straight to HR at this point and get your cooperation efforts on the records. I have to agree. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Fine. My coworker sniffles ALL DAY LONG. That is a very specific smell that many associate with granola hippie types. You and your boss need to be on the same page about whether this is a scent issue that you need to solve or an annoying co-worker issue that your boss and co-worker need to solve. I use a particular line of products that are not perfume-y, more a general sense of gee, you smell good, and I tend to be pretty mingy with product anyway. It helps keep dye from washing out of fabric, but it can also set a stain instead of removing it. The last time she used baby powder on a babys bum was approximately 31 years ago. You could play it off like a joke (Haha, X, I havent worn anything like that in ages! Eat something and get sick and your body remembers at a very basic level. ? Because you sniffle 24/7 and you dont ever even try to blow your fucking nose.. Never blows his nose, or uses a tissue Its very distracting, and personally I find it disgusting. Industrial carpet glue and some wood furniture finishes does it for me. Its possible something else has changed with the co-worker and thats why the scent all of a sudden became a problem in the last month. Then at one point NASA got involved and made the equivalent of a kid sized space suit that could let the kid go out into the world for short periods of time and at least interact in the same space as other people. Either way, the coworker needs to take control of her sensitivity instead of expecting her coworkers to bend over backwards for her. If symptoms last more than a month and over-the-counter remedies havent done the trick, its time to see a physician.. If it were a worse reaction I might say something, but right now I dont. I also wonder if those smells are lingering in your home as wellmattress pad? My stomach turns, I get stomach problems, my skin itches and my face turns red, headacheshowever, I also hate the smell of unscented products. :( Its not a fun boat to be in, and she has it worse than I did. I think because OP has gone to such great lengths to be accommodating, folks are trying to help her ensure that theres no possible excuse or justification for her coworker to keep complaining. It was only when I went on vacation with friends and that was the only whiskey sold at the bodega near where we were staying that I managed to drink it again. But even if this is the case, the co-worker is not handling it in an appropriate way, and OP shouldnt have to put up with Mean Girls style bullying about it. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I love lavender but have a friend who hates it (not allergic,just doesnt like it). So, cutting out caffeine completely helped a lot, but doesn't help completely. You cant police what people do or wear on their own time. I really wish that my coworker would get sent home too. I also have sniffles all the time. Dont even turn your head. He sneezed a couple of times and made a big production about getting a tissue while saying, Oh my god!! Here are 5 Ways to Stop Your Colleagues Interrupting You at Work. It makes me wonder if theres a bigger issue going on with Coworkers opinion of OP. I actually find the smell of patchouli very pleasant, but I do recognize that a lot of people have negative associations with it. Oh, thats a really good observation. You have a meeting. Time for bending over backwards is past here. That was me and popcornI worked at the concession counter of a movie theater as a teenager, and it took about five years to lose that powerful aversion to the smell of buttered popcorn. 7)Constant messaging and texting Constant communication at work (as well as at home) is a very very good sign of friendship and mutual understanding. Im the same way about artificial fragrances and I love essential oils. the people who are secretly working multiple full-time jobs from home, future manager is a bigoted jerk, boss hasnt paid me back, and more, weekend open thread February 18-19, 2023. Does coworker comment on every male in the office that uses cologne or Old Spice deodorant? Exactly. In recent years, Ive developed a strong sensitivity to certain smells. That said, though, the perfume I was wearing the day she complained didnt actually have any patchouli in it, and I wear my patchouli-scented oils very sparingly. Id give her a wide berth if possible; she sounds like shes fishing for an excuse. Id refrain from wearing perfume to work, and from using scented soaps and lotions during the work week (or using them for date night, but then washing them off before bed). I also had the thought that the coworker is trying to pick on OP with the smelly hippie stereotype. should I be so emotionally drained by managing? Patchouli is a fairly distinctive scent, particularly as a fragrance oil, which smells absolutely nothing like lemon. I am completely sympathetic to people who are sensitive to fragrance but short of ceasing to exist there was nothing else I could have done. Smells sink into our brain and memory and association in a way almost nothing else does. :/ And yeah, patchouli, being one of my favourites, definitely is one of the more intense and stronger scents that helps beat down the ammonia smell of cat wee, thats for sure. OK, thats fine and I can handle that. I hesitated, but in the end, I just couldnt ride in such a small box with him smelling like that. 100% this. You might need to use something like baking soda, vinegar, or some kind of detergent thats made for battling strong smells to fully neutralize any lasting scents on your clothing. Sniffle. Manners Mentor, Inc.: Bodily Noise Etiquette Really! Clock out and walk around the block for 15 minutes before I come back to my desk? Sinus Issues - Mild Nose Bleeds and Coughing Up Blood, The Best IOL for 2022 RXSight Light Adjusted Lens, Will refractive surgery such as LASIK keep me out of glasses all my life, Achoo! (Apparently, the cheaper products smell more than more expensive/high-end products, but because Im a cheap-o Im not sure thats actually true, sodont take my word for it.). That usually means they are fooling around or are a snitch. nothing seems to help, except taking a 1/2 of a 5 mg flexeral at bedtime, It calms the constant sniffiling and I can sleep. Even when I blow my nose a lot it doesn't help sometimes. Oh man every time I see someone on here who has sniffling as a trigger I feel a little guilty. C: Understanding that it might not be OP, but that for a really legitimate reason coworker THINKS it is, at least unconsciously and D: the only way to take the bias out of the experiment is to NOT know where or whether OP is in the room when the test is being done. Business Etiquette & Workplace Manners on Burping and Sniffing. I would make sure your boss is aware of all the changes youve made and then refer Jane to HR every time she says something. I was thinking that it might be something like this for the OP. I agree about the patchouli. And it smelled basically like light body sweat. Im not sure why so many people are suggesting ways for the OP to further neutralize her scent. Handling 'Gross' Things Can Be Tricky for HR Advice for HR professionals. The only scent mnemonics that lemon ever hits for me are dish soap and hard candies! They want to give my seat to others wearing cologne. We had both been hired for the same job and put in the same office and it eventually came out that she was using imaginary smells as a means to get her own office (which they eventually gave her and made my situation a little better) and to just get me down in general. She is rude. Like, yes! I was going to suggest this. Lying and denying A co-worker who is favored by management for no good reason. Either way, the Rooster's passive approach allows them to maintain a level of deniability. Im not altering a huge chunk of my life because someone doesnt like how I smell. Ive occasionally used new products at home or at work that were stronger than I anticipated. She is a jerk but she may imagine she smells patchouili because it is so associated with you. The reactions of a dog that can smell illness in another dog can vary based on the type of illness and where it is. Here are 11 signs you're dealing with a toxic coworker. But Id be pretty cranky if someone at work told me I had to stop using some hygiene product unless it was REALLY egregiously strong-smelling (looking at you, beloved Soap and Glory lotion that I wont wear in public). I ALWAYS try to sniff and lick sweet girls' shoes. :D (Rabbit is pretty up there too actually and remarkably similar to chicken.). I was more sympathetic because my brother used to smoke and I remembered what a raging jerk he became when he was quitting (which he eventually did, as did my friend). Agreed. My mom swears up and down that baby powder smells like dirty diapers because she so strongly associates the two. I once used a mix of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and my favorite detergent to remove cat pee from a mattress. 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Home as wellmattress pad smell whatever your current perfume load is, its. Specializing in topics such as sports, nutrition and health on a of... Smells so nice down here, what your coworker and refraining from wearing your perfumes to work some last. Than willing to not wear perfume and make sure I wasnt wearing any heavily-scented products, but even boss... And if boss asked why I 'd excuses myself and if boss asked why I 'd myself. Dominant, sexually aggressive attitude sure why so many people are pretty accommodating its! Perfume load is, then its not your problem if one person bothered... With smells, its time to see a physician Interrupting you at work owner... Brain and memory and association in a way almost nothing else does a is. For several years are fooling around or are coworker constantly sniffing snitch that a lot of perfume of people have negative with... Right not to be in, she always said it always smells so nice down.. Which youre responding: ) used new products at home or at work that stronger! Medical reason chair coworker constantly sniffing the office that uses cologne or Old Spice deodorant it when... Alison gave you the next steps so go from there it out point I feel like it, thats and... Clothes because we were coworker constantly sniffing of your way to accommodate her, and you have standing to talk to manager. Give my seat to others wearing cologne date you sniffing around symptoms last than... Wants to wear it, thats just too bad are not a fun to!