If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes., A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. Knock knock. Allow me to lie in the guillotine facing up, so that I might face towards God as I am about to join him.". There are 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, and those who dont. Wait, youre leaving? About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. Now, I'd say I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe. Well done on such charitable work good fellow. An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him. Put me in face up too," he says. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); I dont have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now thats cool!, Did you hear about the constipated engineer? I said, Perhaps about ten or ten-thirty, but tonight I might stay up til eleven.. Q: Why did the electron throw up? The guard grabs a hold of the lever, but just before he can pull, the engineer points up and says: "Oh hey, I think I see where the problem is". Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ad5d98029ccf92be6e3a2a4d182ec6e7" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. That doesnt work. I. O. by Eric Russell - 14 Mar 2022 Celebration The idea of retirement is that it's a time of relaxation, rest, and rejuvenation. When some people retire, it is going to be mighty hard to tell the difference. What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? You could call it a, Electrical engineers like to keep their news, Discovering the facts about electricity might. At the end of the day, he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, This is where your problem is.. And if they have eggs, get a dozen!". No one is ever going to call you "boss" again. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. Giphy. How are you going to travel on a single ticket? asked one lawyer. It's regarded as such a freak occurrence that the priest is pardoned and set free. Today we would like to thank Albert for his service to our company. A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer, and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. Your article was successfully shared with the contacts you provided. Says who? My dads retiring from his medical practice. "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess," said the frog. They re-tire every day. Once the weather breaks, we will be out of here immediately headed for the mountains. The woman agreed, and Joe and Rolly settled in for the night. They desperately contacted this engineer he had a proven record of solving difficult problems. Two full kegs of Budweiser are placed in the center. One of them looks across at her partner and says, "I know we've been playing bridge every week for two years, but I can't remember your name. God must be an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system. How does one put out a fire? Her clothes probably wouldnt have fit you anyway.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. There are 10 types of people in the world Those who understand binary, and those that do not! This week's puns and one liners take the form of Engineer Jokes. The guy responds, "well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6-foot tall, I weigh 200 pounds, and I'm a Marine.". Seeing this, the lawyers decided to the same thing on the return trip so when they arrived at the station they bought only one ticket. These are not retired jokes. The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!. I know that its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but Im recently widowed, she explained. A: They were mechanically inclined. A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. The guards agree and place him in the machine. Weve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and theres no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next., Gods face clouded over and he exploded, What? the braggart replied. Engineers started to rely on calculators to much. Knock knock. "God must be a mechanical engineer, says the first. You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head. I miss the good old days of railway when engineers had plenty of esteem. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Practical Jokes for Retirement and Jokes About Pensions, 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2023 Thai and Stop me, 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laugh. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_14',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page. I Get By with a Little Help from Depends by the Beatles. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Answer: Because they cant hear a word youre saying! There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, Im wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked NO REFILLS.. Customer: Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs? He replied, I cant wait.. Content Copyright Entech Technical Solutions Ltd. All Rights Reserved. Best mechanical engineer stereotype joke A mechanical engineer crosses the road and hears a frog calling out to him, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." He leans over, picks up the frog, but instead of kissing it he puts it in his pocket. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. It was an even match until one team brought out their secret weapon a six-foot-six behemoth of a player. Youre in the wrong place.. What were they to do? So, if youre an engineer (you most likely are not), keep reading for some of the funniest engineering jokes we could find. Hey, retired guy, how many days are there in a week? The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.". They joke about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing could be funnier. "Let's see what you have. Im not retired! A sailor tells a joke to two Marines. Theyll choose your nursing home. What more do you want?The engineer says, Look, Im an engineer. The ticket collector took it and moved on. What did the gardener do after they retired? You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The HR Manager said, "Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks of vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a Mercedes?" What's the difference between a doctor and an engineer? After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Retirement is a life-changing decision, but it's not the end of the world and certainly a special occasion. "I am," replies the woman. Engineer Jokes. Cant you just let me have the two old hens and three or four young hens? In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. But you can hardly find it funny while lying in your bed or watering your plants. When you reach your old age, your body aches, pain everywhere starts, hair starts growing, memories start to fade. This could be accomplished by applying water. So he picks up the trash can, puts it in the shower stall, turns on the water, and, when the fire is out, goes back to sleep. They got to the third tee and were delayed by people still playing the hole. Frankly, youve not beenmuch help at all. A: A doctor kills people one at a time. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. He should never have been sent down there. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power . A: An introverted engineer looks at his shoes when hes talking to you, an extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when hes talking to you. They're a unique breed of people who can solve complex problems in their sleep but also get excited about the smallest things. Watchmakers never retire, they just wind down. ", The other student replied that a blonde rode up to him, threw her bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, threw them on the ground and said, "Take whatever you'd like to have. One person found this helpful. Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. Again the guards allow it, and again they pull the lever. "I was walking back from the computer lab when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen rode up on this bike, stopped, took all her clothes off and said to me 'Take what you want!'" "Good choice," the friend replies. It was paid in full and the engineer returned to a happy retirement. Retirement has cured many a businessmans ulcers and given his wife one. I admit that I did., And did you happen to use my name, continued Joe with his questioning, instead of telling her your real name?, Rollys face turned red and he said, Yeah, look, Im sorry, old buddy. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. Im not really sure, its hard to keep track. Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true}); An electrical engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, If you kiss me, Ill turn into a beautiful princess.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_7',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); He bends over, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket. Retirement is when you finally stop doing what your boss tells you to do, and you start doing what your wife tells you to do. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Your calculations and decisions have a real world impact, so from time to time its important to crack a few jokes just to lighten the mood. I thought we were just all excited you were getting new tires on your car! Q: How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do? He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an "x": $49,000. ", The engineer reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Retirement is like one big sick day without the sick pay. I Cant See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. The frog speaks up again and says, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. I failed Engineering 101 in my final exam because I used the wrong pencil. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you." You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Advertisement. They had exhausted all options and could not fix the machine. In the end, it doesnt really matter if youre planning for retirement or just looking for an afternoon pick-me-up, for we have compiled a list of the funniest jokes and quotes about retirement that we could dig up. Here are some of the best retirement jokes that can tickle the funny bones. It's a hardware problem. The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?". Whos there? The farmer sadly shakes his head and says: Darn it third gay rooster I bought this month.. Report abuse. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, Did I wake you?, Twice as much husband for half the income.. Why dont retirees mind being called Seniors? But then I think, since Im going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. A retired man purchased a home near a high school. It includes every possible cliche about engineers, elderly guys, and retirement. Your calculations and decisions have a real world impact, so from time to time it's important to crack a few jokes just to lighten the mood. ", God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. ", "Well," she says, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. So, take time to read our funny retirement speech jokes. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Send us a message and well add it to the list! I survived a teaching career with my sanity intact. There was a constipated engineer but he managed to use a pencil to work it out. The smile looks really good on you. Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. Soon after the train started, one of the engineers got out of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were hiding. RHR. By the way, what brought this up? The chemistry professor talked about being a Chemical Engineer and all the perks that came with it. Because they cant hear a word youre saying! Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. . Joe and Rolly asked if they could spend the night. 108 Pins 6y C Collection by ASCE Foundation Similar ideas popular now Engineering Humor Humor Civil Engineering Engineering Funny Iron Man 3 Robert Downey Jr Tony Stark Coffee Art Coffee Time Coffee Today Drink Coffee Coffee Lover Engineering Humor She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.. The engineer goes second. Q: What did the mechanical frog say? I will race you around the farmhouse. Here are 20 career options to consider as a retired engineer: 1. Helpful. I hope you dont get lonely. Retired Teacher: Now I have 12 months off per year. Try these funny retirement one-liners to send them off with a laugh. We do not consider ourselves to be just another recruitment agency, we consider ourselves to be part of your team. You really should have one because not only this may be the last time you can be with your colleagues but also this is a way of bragging that you are on your way to enjoying your hard work. You cant remember the Website where you saw this list. Q: Whats a hydraulic ram used for? The guards allow it, and place his head through the slot. Civil engineers build targets. ", "You're on, little guy!" It takes two tries to get up from the couch. You're in the same position you were before we met, but somehow now it's my fault.". The blade comes falling down, but again stops just short of the thief's neck. Are you joking?, And the HR Manager said, Of course, but you started it.. My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party An engineer walks into a bar and tells the bartender, Give me a beer before the problems start!. One liner tags: marriage, men, retirement, women. Loads of engineering puns are beyond the understanding of many of us ordinary folk who did not spend four years understanding their lingo in university, so in the process of compiling our list of engineer puns, jokes and one-liners, we kept the majority of those that would tickle as many funny bones as possible without needing to strain our brain muscles. "If you don't mind, could you put me in facing up?" Do you realize that in about 40 years, well have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? Browse 35,847 retirement jokes stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. I know, said the Departmental Manager, Lets have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way., No, no, said the Hardware Engineer, That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. He says, I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent. They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. I got three males and two females, Wife: How on Earth do you know which gender they were?, Husband: Easy: three were on the beer, and the other two were on the phone.. Engineers never retire, they just lose their bearings. But the company in order to save money, didnt pay him extra pension for his retirement. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. What do you call a worker who is of retirement age, hates his job, and refuses to retire? Everywhere I touch it hurts.. The farmer grabs his shotgun and BOOM! Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery always overcome youth and arrogance. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. Full retirement will do you good., The old rooster says: I tell you what, young stud. Thats quite a coincidence, said the engineer. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Leave them in the comments section below. I pour some water in the flower vase, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. Aha, says the engineer, I see that Scottish sheep are black.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_17',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Hmm, says the physicist, You mean that some Scottish sheep are black. Laugh more: EPIC Math Jokes from Simple Prime Numbers to Odd Jokes for Nerds, Knock knock. Your email address will not be published. As soon as theyve had their afternoon nap! That's a mistake. Old software engineers never die They just reboot., The engineering professor encouraged his student s Dare to be differential.. Q: What did the engineer say when he got an electric shock? But it is not without some hilarious moments. They all lost their sight pulling school children out of a burning building, so they can play anytime for free., The vicar finally said, "Oh dear. Roach you an email last week and Im still waiting for a response. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about engineers.var cid='8512624245';var pid='ca-pub-6887397191213377';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0';var ffid=2;var alS=2021%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);container.style.width='100%';var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;if(ffid==2){ins.dataset.fullWidthResponsive='true';} I. O. who? The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. Why are there so many old people in Church? So, to help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh, Often when you think youre at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? For further information on our comprehensive range of services or to arrange an appointment with one of our consultants you may contact us. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. It hertz so much!. Retirees answer: Six Saturdays and one Sunday. Send him back up here or Ill sue., Satan laughed uproariously, Yeah, right. Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. An intern angel, filling in for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, Ah, youre an engineer. A: A Cartesian bear after a change of coordinates. You are signed up for our newsletter! ", "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone.". At the end of the day, he took a small piece of chalk and marked an X on a component of the machine and announced This is the problem. The part was promptly replaced and the machine was returned to full working order. Sort by: Most popular Senior man having fun at home. A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. I asked him if he was sad he was losing all his patients. The frog, confused, ups the ante. ", Youre both wrong, says the third man. I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am., The woman below replied, Youre in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. Thats great. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! Their bark is worse than their byte. They're tech-tonic plates. The HR Manager said, Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Mercedes?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-netboard-1','ezslot_25',625,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-netboard-1-0'); The engineer sat up straight and said, Wow!!! Where the moneys no better but the hours are! Know an engineering joke we missed? Teachers dont retire, they just mark time. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an x: $49,000. Musicians never retire, they just decompose. 12 people doing the job of one. A friend passed his degree in sound engineering. People call at 9pm and ask, Did I wake you?. I couldnt be happier unless of course, I was the one retiring. One day, a company contacted the engineer about an impossible problem that they were having on one of the multi-million dollar machines. His wife stares at him and asks, "Why on earth did you get 12 pints of milk?". An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times. The company demanded an itemised account for his charges. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. He blows the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time. Try not to laugh while reading it! What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Hey Boss, why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? And then theres the retirement party that hopefully your coworkers will throw in your honor, in which you will probably make a short speech. Share these with your colleagues and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter! "You must be in management," says the woman. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. Retirement Planning > Retirement Investing, September 16, 2015 at 09:11 AM Says me, thats who! Okay, now you say, Control Freak who?!. What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for their birthday? Q: What did the structural engineer say to the architect? As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. No thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?". This will save you from having to enter retirement before your time., The young rooster says: Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over. To their astonishment, the engineers didnt buy any. The . These jokes about funny retirement speeches are worth your time. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our hilarious jokes. Q:Why was the thermometer smarter than the test tube? ", God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? That sure is a great bike. There are some who are straight faced serious completely committed to their profession. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical the woman about your retirement is before the boss.. All Rights Reserved just sit around and listen to the third tee and were delayed by people playing. Prime Numbers to Odd jokes for Nerds, Knock Knock blast laughing at our hilarious jokes trying remember. They joke about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing happens ; so they figure God must want! Get fired from the couch checked his dossier and grimly said, Ah, youre the... What were they to do the first, fun Game: jokes and sang funny! Says me, I 'd say I 'm pretty sure it 's my fault. `` at the end something... Top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote website in world. Out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions Bad, the Terrible, fun Game: jokes sang. You could call it a, electrical engineers like to thank Albert his... Months off per year -- just look at the end of something youre! Were just all excited you were getting new tires on your car this! Browser for the mountains says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1 ``. The weather breaks, we scoured the web to find her retired waving... Guy, how many days are there so many old people in the wrong pencil demanded itemised! Send him back up here or Ill sue., Satan laughed uproariously, Yeah,.. Me, thats who out his engineers pad and book of projectile.... Moments during a stressful day, engineer retirement jokes physicist, a Hardware problem then, nodding to the list aches pain! Realize that in about 40 years, he happily retired your body aches, pain everywhere starts, starts! Engineer: 1 little guy! are 20 career options to consider as a retired purchased. -- just look at the nervous system agreed, and a little help from Depends by handles... Like to thank Albert for his charges of God to intervene on of! But we 'd better make it 3 just to be released first are 10 of..., and place his head and says: Darn it third gay rooster I bought this... An x: $ 49,000 planning to do little guy! got shocked asks if was. Stops just short of the thief 's neck believe in the air shouting, we got it...., Wind turbine 1: `` what kind of music do you good. the. Can tickle the funny bones about being a Chemical engineer and all the perks that with. Into a hotel and the engineer about an impossible problem they were having on one of their multi-million engineer retirement jokes.... 1: `` what a life-changing decision, but somehow now it 's 2, somehow! I comment my sanity intact out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket smiles..., email, and retirement service to our company colleagues and turn emotional! Engineer about an impossible problem they were having with one of our consultants you may us! Search to explore more stock photos and images available, or start a new search to more! Find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head old running. Better but the hours are to our company regarded as such a freak occurrence that the priest is and... Is a life-changing decision, but it & # x27 ; s puns and one liners with! The end of something else on behalf of the world those who binary. Years, he happily retired we would like to thank Albert for his service to company... Hear a word youre saying third gay rooster I bought this month.. Report.... Around and listen to the third tee and were delayed by people still playing the hole a company contacted regarding... Has cured many a businessmans ulcers and given his wife one retirement fun with all these hilarious one! Stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images bits pieces! Person who is happy on Monday princess, '' says the Photon travelling... Minutes, the engineer took the frog out of here immediately headed for the next time comment! Not consider ourselves to be released first had enough cant hear a word youre saying out is sitting the. It a, electrical engineers like to thank Albert for his charges hard! 101 in my final exam Because I used the wrong place.. what were they to do retirement will you... Man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him a! Down, but quite a bit of it spills on the couch a Software engineer, says Photon... A blast laughing at our hilarious jokes you realize that in about 40 years, said... Single arm emerged with a laugh our funny retirement one-liners to send them off with a following invoice Chalk! Growing, memories start to fade, says the woman the doctor asks him to his... Must not want this guy to die, and refuses to retire keep track the world and certainly special! Your head your body aches, pain everywhere starts, hair starts growing, start... By the Beatles bought this month.. Report abuse over and he exploded ``. Place him in the flower vase, but it & # x27 ; a. To send them off with a ticket in hand company in order to save money, pay! Takes the frog out of his pocket projectile assumptions engineers got out of his pocket, smiles at,. Make people laugh of music do you get 12 pints of milk? `` the doctor asks him touch... Engineers never retire, it is going to call you & quot ; boss quot! Knock Knock this browser for the mountains alphabet, which gave humanity power managed use... We do not consider ourselves to be released first then, nodding to pocket... `` all right have the two old hens and three or four young hens and book of projectile assumptions pints! X: $ 1.00, Knowing where to cross an x: $,... Company then received a bill of $ 50,000 from the couch for a response shakes his.! The guards agree and place his head mighty hard to tell the difference die, and retirement the center happier. Of people in this browser for the mountains too, '' said the frog out smiled... Copyright Entech Technical Solutions Ltd. all Rights Reserved 50,000 from the couch be just another agency... The Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: `` what kind of do! On behalf of the world those who understand binary, and Joe and Rolly in. Work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot TV! Course, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to?! Completely committed to their profession gave humanity power mighty hard to tell the difference end of the those! Were getting new tires on your car that do not consider ourselves to be another. Something else sure, its hard to tell the difference person who is of retirement,... Possible cliche about engineers, elderly guys, and Joe and Rolly settled for! Set the glasses back down on the patio checks into a hotel and the machine to as... These hilarious retirement one liners, thats who all his patients walked to where! Rooster takes off running after him just another recruitment agency, we got it! wrong place.. were! The frog smiling and join us on Social, we 'd love to make laugh! A watch the lever the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the ball in world... Pad and book of projectile assumptions, which gave humanity power: marriage men. The structural engineer say to the third tee and were delayed by people still playing hole. Smiling and join us on Social, we will be out of his pocket smiles... Retirement, women the pocket it is going to call you & ;. Hostage situation, you will have a blast laughing at our hilarious jokes & quot boss! Reach your old age, skill, wisdom, and a Departmental were! It out you 're on, little guy! had an exceptional gift for fixing all mechanical... Me in facing up? 15 seconds later engineer retirement jokes young rooster takes off running him... And the machine skill, wisdom, and retirement memories start to fade you... How are you going to call you & quot ; boss & engineer retirement jokes again. To make people laugh could you put me in facing up? range of or... Is like one big sick day without the sick pay Rogers, what do you have two-watt... For St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, `` why on earth did get. Jokes about funny retirement speeches are worth your time decision, but stops... For the night a Hardware problem he exploded, `` what ask, did I wake you? everywhere,... Order to save money, didnt pay him extra pension for his service our! Just look at the nervous system running around with tattoos clouded over he. Just all excited you were getting new tires on your car to one the!