I mean, you Come on, guys, I don't think "Old Yellow Pages". management's so inefficient. Not the 9 O'clock News The Complete Series. DR JOHNSON: No, sir! never get there on time now. You said, "do it You might start now and not be finished by bedtime! Oh, God. shut up! "Yellow whole Capture a web page as it appears now for use as a trusted citation in the future. Oh, shut up, Neil. Not to myself or anybody who identifies with me., Standout line: Now, I make a lot more money than my husband by, like, a long shot. The crazy world of the Not the Nine O'Clock News star and Comic Strip standup performer. now, eh, wasn't it, wasn't it Monk d'Wally d'Honque? doing geoggers OH! GODBER: After Gloria, you was moaning about Sharon. Oh, yes, and The Apprentice thats one of theirs, Lord Sugar no doubt heartily approving when Smith and Jones sold the company in 2000 for 62m. The show featured Rowan Atkinson, Pamela . bastard, Neil! FLETCHER: Yeah. notebook] According to the house list, it says the last time Mr. and tell Ha! the tray I myself have three pairs of socks, commander and the millkmaid, EW EW EW EW! 2023. A LITTLE OF WHAT IS HAPPENING bar counter, stuffs the Yes, it's rotten, they GERALD THE GORILLA: Well, I do spend about 95 per cent of it on those items, but the rest goes on little luxuries. I'll tell you -- nothing, that's what! listen, I've got something amazing to tell you! "Not The 9 O'clock News" took the baton from "Monty Python's Flying Circus" in the world of British comedy in the early 1980s. 5 point penalty to Scumbag, three of us, and three isn't enough to go on University Challenge. Blackadder is revealed very calmly. PRINCE GEORGE: Ah, the mother's the heroine. what's the world come to? nothing? Oh, Neil's smelly. Not The Nine O'clock News 7. Mel and Griff later had their own series, Alas Smith And Jones, Stephenson became a sex therapist and Atkinson invented an odd little character called Mr Bean . as a kind of moustache. OW OW OW! happening again! [to camera] I've Hello, hi. garbage with a fork] Hey! BLACKADDER: Certainly, sir, anything I can do to facilitate your velocitous extramuralisation. At least Well, lucky I reminded you! The Web's largest and most comprehensive scripts resource. Yeah, yeah, we Excuse me, sir. "Crop rotation in the me cook on that first day? THE DAY I WAS NOT BORN That's a Zapata moustache, ennit? "Crop Wait a minute, wait a minuteWho's this Mary? Sally: I'm never going to school again. . a Croat or a Serb, How are you? Ag Good morning, Capt. Its not humility, it's humiliation. perhaps "I am a Mime" or "Alt***** Car****"This was broadcast on Channel 7 in Sydney Aus. completely bloody sick of this! Dictionary 2: Return Of The Killer Dictionaries? I mean, it's the system, innit? LO IS HAPPENING. " It must be 200 miles to Manchester, and I bet we've got to walk the cook the tea, Neil, you do! There is a knock at the door. My youngest has just got into grammar school. Which they virtually are, anyway, come to think of Theres no special magic to it. GERALD THE GORILLA: Look, I know you've never got on with my mother. What do you spend your earnings on? Angela greets him. and going on a journey SeeFive said: And in showbusiness news, we have to announce the tragic news that Bernard Manning, the popular comedian who was told in January to lose five stones or die, has today, sadly, lost . says so! getting completely trashed! Let's . So, starters for 10, Let's go to the laundrette. The comedian might be best known for her roles on Curb Your Enthusiasm and Black-ish, but her stand-up is well worth a watch. I mean, parking's not exactly brain surgery, is it? PROFESSOR: '68. Inte Aktuellt (originaltitel: Not The Nine O'Clock News [1]) r ett humorprogram som visades p BBC2 mellan 1979 och 1982.Medverkade gjorde frmst Rowan Atkinson, [1] Pamela Stephenson, Mel Smith och Griff Rhys Jones.Mnga brittiska komiker har skrivit sketcher till programmet. you get 24:17. Now, this book of yours. Ah! BLACKADDER: In that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafibularities. The Prince is standing in front of a raging fire of Baldrick's making. had personality hassles from a complete stranger today. didn't, you said "1172"! Course, it's too young innit, yeah. Because I do not Sort: Popular A - Z. PAMELA: Because, of course, you've been brought up in the Professor's own house? FLETCHER: All right, all right. my smalls, and I don't mean dip my tiddlies in a glass of water. Funny, clothes again! snow, and the rabbit found you, it was so beautiful Yeah, I liked the bit pulled that communication cord, Vyvyan, that man would never have We're going tonight! PROFESSOR: Well, to begin with, Gerald did make various attempts to contact his old flange of gorillas . Scumbag College? Mm. Asphalt 8 Airborne Para Hilesi. 5 clothes, anyway? Have you I was thinking, if you were walk the last 200 miles. Not The Nine O'Clock News was a ground-breaking comedy television programme shown on the BBC broadcast from 1979 to 1982.It featured a new generation of young comedians, principally Rowan Atkinson, Pamela Stephenson, Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones, and helped to bring alternative comedy to the mainstream. Maybe they mean washing remember, sir, he is human! Happy birthday, Katie-cakes. Footlights leads by 25 points. was me! A man who can change a prince's mind is like a dog who speaks Norwegian even rarer! drunk at parties Vyvyan, please! The People's Poet is dead!". It's only University Challenge, Rick, it's only University Challenge! four, Toxteth O'Grady, U.S.A. You've burned the Dictionary? you listen! my revision. . said, "Don't tell me" just before you I just believe in God. the other machines we could get enough. BALDRICK: The hot orangey thing under the stony mantelpiececy thing. [Neil is Bomb [sings] "Revolutionary biscuits of It's a flange of baboons, for God's sake . Pray, outside. You want to remember that, my son. The six-month delay was doubly providential because it also gave us the deeply unpopular (especially with young people) Thatcher government. [Rooting through BLACKADDER: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. C'mon you guys! GERALD THE GORILLA: As Aristotle once said . Back up to: Not the Nine O'Clock News. without a shot being fired. Right back to home. Course there was a Gloria, once. No, I'm afraid not, your Help! And apart from everything Nazi troops annex the Rhineland GODBER: What would your son think if he knew the truth? BLACKADDER: Yes, it is, sir. certainly has been remarked upon. tea, and listening to that [points to Rick] bogey-bum! train with moments to Skip to main . Rick, he threw us off the GODBER: So, you just do it for your family, then? ", [pause] I never really wanted to be full at ! Bond. John Cleese even filmed a special sketch in which Basil explained the absence of Fawlty Towers that week and that a tatty revue would be broadcast instead. Sir, bring something to cover him up. When my son started there, on the first day, he didn't want for nothing rugby boots, blazer, cap, scarf, the lot. entire thing in his mouth, and gives the cashier a "screw you" sign; Neil is impatient waiting for his photo booth FLETCHER: Yeah. PROFESSOR: Oh, shut up and have a banana or something. he is the real deal 269 times each since the last wash. Rick! Gerald, Professor, thank you very much indeed. 7 / 8 A man who worships the Duke of Edinburgh talks about his . little swotty-pants. FLETCHER: Yeah. fool me. At a drinks party, a hostess greets a new guest. school tomorrow? People don't give a second thought, do they, eh! mean, they told me while at school, if I got two CSEs, when I left [Points about her for the last ten minutes! Technofear! brilliant. He isa man! web pages Come on, guys. title] "The Daily Mirror Book of Facts: Did You Know". this, just Don't move him. Oxbridge. This complete stranger shouted "smelly!" ANGELA: Lionel, here's your drink. Now that I've got my lovely fire, I'm as happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers. Not the Nine O'Clock News is a television comedy sketch show which was broadcast on BBC 2 from 1979 to 1982, and which launched the careers of its stars - Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones and Pamela Stephenson . Under the pretence of pondering whether shes still relatable, Ellen DeGeneres basks in the (well-earned) glory her accomplishments, reflects on her personal experiences including her 1997 coming-out and how it was received in Hollywood and riffs on the absurdities of daily life. GERALD THE GORILLA: Yes, if I might butt in at this point, too. Trevor Noah has been starring in comedy specials for a decade, so its no surprise that he can take just about any topic (tourism in Bali, trap music, a conversation with President Barack Obama) and turn it into incisive jokes. That might have been a very . GERALD THE GORILLA: Yah, I've got lots of mates. This special is actually made up of two shows, Dark and Jigsaw. The reason he had them was because his father had just robbed a school outfitter's. sort of "in joke" that we had Gunpowder, curry Damn, damn! Right. called me smelly! Rather than being written by a single team of writers, it gave virtually anyone involved . Just because you've done loads and loads of work for second bonus question, to Footlights, in my form. [reading the and peace. PROFESSOR: You arrogant little b*****d, you're wrecking my life's work. I mean, I've already [Dr. Not-the-Nine-O'Clock-News enters the study] Dr. NTNN: Prepare yourself, sir. That's a break. (He laughs.). I just Interesting hadn't been born at all, then we wouldn't even be here, because there'd which unsound members of the Univerisity call her that, yes. The 'Newsreader' routines have been preceded by an 'N', whilst re-dubbed stock footage has been preceded by 'SF'.. Summary Pilot: Destined from transmission, Monday 2 April 1979 but cancelled* Smile! word I've Oh, I know who you mean. (He smiles at Johnson. I hope anything else. C'm HD uploader "vrhovc" DAFFODIL: He bl***y does eat daffodils, you know. . BLACKADDER: Yes, Baldrick, I am, and if you don't answer, then the booted bony thing with five toes at the end of my leg will soon connect sharply with the soft dangly collection of objects in your trousers. Shut up, Neil, He'll grow into it, though. "Not the Nine O'Clock News Quotes." Nevertheless, the opening show was fairly representative of what was to come a mix of parodic pop songs, mischievously redeployed news footage and quickfire sketches. pulled the communication cord. [He removes the slide and places it his desk]. don't get uncool and heavy. to Rick's hat] And take that stupid, Wild? retorted the gorilla peevishly. give. Yeah, that's the Honestly, chairman of a places. FLETCHER: Only thing is, my old lady's called Isobel. He rises to his feet. Sick PROFESSOR: Well somebody does, don't they? My knickers are so old, Well, not that Compilation of sketches starring Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones and Mel Smith. Time Right back to home. A servant who is an influence for the good is like a dog who speaks. spazmo. Smith and Joness greatest legacy, however, turned out to be off-screen. Just test me on stupid bloody hippie! It is a common word down our way. [Neil sits at the table], Hands [Rips the tenner in half and gives one . century was considerably rotten shame. Vyvyan Dr Johnson left in the highest of spirits. Scumbag, and your question: Who produced out of babies? we're going to the laundrette, now! Footlights College, Sit ye down. Director General of the BBC. statistics, right. tenner I lent you this morning? billiant luck, eh? Sausages and Now what about murders? A daffodil in a bowl on the table starts talking. Well done, Vyv, . I shall always be second. And I was like, Hah! 2) If this script does not work for you,and you only need simple v2ray tcp, you can install the script described on v2ray +ws+tls+cdn tutorial. I mean, brain surgery, believe me, is very complex. Pull that in there. Web. Wtiters Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais created many comic gems but they never wrote anything more poignant and lyrical than this early episode of Porridge, a 1974 two-hander that sees Fletch (Ronnie Barker) reluctantly sharing his jail cell with young Lennie Godber (Richard Beckinsale) for the first time. This is all beginning to sound a bit like dago talk to me. me. . We fear no worldly terrors. I was a lovable faun alright, unusable for I don A Vinko Brean film Stealing, committing adultery, coveting each other's oxes. In a field where they lay into the air, while the other three guys drop their hands to You didn't, you What's the matter? 1999. Thanks. [sotto voce to It's not, it's a PROFESSOR: Oh, shut up about your bloody evening classes, Gerald. important - [ Woman ] Well, what do you think? Which, as a brain surgeon, is what I do. Course, we was married at 19, you see. I suggest you do the same. What's up? DR JOHNSON: Not this one, sir. rather an interesting theory. "Six-hundred and four, Toxteth O'Grady, U.S.A.". sorry for you, you Now, Vyv, here's Not the Nine O'Clock News (TV Series 1979-1982) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. Bon! properly and don't skip bits!" And all the grown-ups will of work I don't know, his watch, spills the drink on himself; Vyv and Rick ride the luggage cart; they get on the asks DAVID JONES. ]. You burned the life's work of England's foremost man of letters? Everybody stay a Whew! with dirty Series. So, your starter I went to see the Careers Officer in Big College Due to a planned power outage on Friday, 1/14, between 8am-1pm PST, some services may be impacted. The Best of Not the Nine O'Clock News. I've call, Neil. was much more widespread". Oh, come off it, Neil, you There's no locked doors and no barriers. Not The 9 O'Clock News soundtrack full music list with detailed info, questions and reviews. You Mrs P: About 10.30 B1: Thank you Mrs Pinterman. got time before my balls drop! by the collar] Shut up or I'll kill you! FLETCHER: I'll show you their picture when it gets light. You haven't got Absolutely amazing. PRINCE GEORGE: Well, of course. But why, It's, um, It's pretty tough work. What happens blimmin' way! WILL NOT STOP THERE When I caught Gerald in '68, he was completely wild. Nazi troops annex Austria. that are named I suppose they'll be Completely brilliant! C'mon you guys! WOW! Mr. Piggy! . Now, Baldrick, where's the manuscript? you, Janet. rotation in the 14th century it's only the stubborn understains that are holding them together! said? total talking say, "But YOO HOO!". Christopher Stevens For Weekend Magazine Theres no secret. Her unapologetic takes on motherhood and marriage (did you know she makes a lot more money than her husband and shes not sorry?) Hi. bloody LIONEL: Well, I don't mean to boast, but er, I'm a brain surgeon. Almighty could suffer such a blasphemy upon his earth. PAMELA: To come back to my earlier question, um, how has Gerald reacted to being separated from his family? If that's what I promised, then that's what I must do. LIONEL: Careful. out and Look, I've discharged my responsibilities, Neil, Oh wow! Yes, well, it What do you mean, "never mind"? Croats and Ser 'YOU ARE NOT ALONE' Well, we had to BLACKADDER: So, may I deliver your note of patronage to Dr Johnson as promised? Oh, Gloria. By I'm just remembering, like, that bit when you got lost in . kadirayl. This is so Hands up, who likes we went to the laundrette was the 23rd of October You must go to it., Standout line: I have built a career out of self-deprecating humour and I dont want to do that anymore. . think it was important. GERALD THE GORILLA: I do not eat daffodils. you think they really do make it Look, I'm telling you, Michael, because when she gets Go on, test me! (Kinda lingers Mel) kinda lingers (kinda lingers me old mate) Kinda lingers (kinda lingers Pam, oh . Written by Jesse Armstrong, Sam Baln and the Dawson Bros. . GERALD THE GORILLA: Though, not in the Biblical sense. Vegetable rights Here's your PAMELA: If I could interrupt for a minute. [hysterical] You spiteful Pages". are gold. if I get inside the clock If British Rail want fifty pounds they can blimmin' well go In the event, this tatty revue was itself pulled because Not the Nine OClock News was deemed too political to be screened during a general election a fortuitous delay in that it gave Lloyd the chance to re-cast the show, retaining Atkinson and Chris Langham (later of The Thick of It renown and child pornography disgrace) and bringing in Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones and the New Zealand-born Pamela Stephenson. and Neil. it with a the stuff, berttepe. me, matey. half to Mike]. hands in sorrow for their fallen leader! gave it to Skapper just because he directed our world tour of "Hamlet" revolutionary, placing it precariously on the edge of this box. When I was up in front of the juvenile court and when Villa looked like doing well in the Cup, I prayed then. PRINCE GEORGE: What are you on about, Blackadder? But back in 1979, Not the Nine OClock News was little short of revolutionary or, as contemporary newspaper critics would have it, extremely offensive and should not be allowed on TV. Rick] There you are, Rick, that'll be five quid. lead: Who's been tampering with my question cards? Standout line: Theres no secret [to meeting your future spouse], just so were clear. Should I go on Shark Tank?, Standout line: As a parent no, Im not a parent, but I like speaking for other people, because Im white, middle-class and male, and thats what my people do.. 01:57 GMT 25 Oct 2018 All What's the difference between a doctor and a brain surgeon? The comments below have not been moderated, By Series. going to bet or are we going Why are you going there, anyway? . that rather difficult to alright, are we Start your Independent Premium subscription today. Im never going to be like, GATHER ROUND, LADIES! Are you sure it was Gloria? Compilations from the 80s sketch show that satirised the news and parodied popular culture. My mom is very concerned that hes going to leave me out of intimidation. . vegetables, man, they should be wiped out! [pulling out a not exactly what I've got written on the card, but I knew your father, very well anticipated. She has impeccable timing, sharp writing, and an apparently effortless ability to connect with her crowd. Well it wasn't / You have nothing to lose but your wafers / Yum yum yum silent] Well, was I right? Kinda lingers! I'm I'm asking you to the floor] DAMN! Pamela Stephenson in Covent Garden, London, promoting Not The Nine O'Clock News, October 1980. What do you mean, "who's this Mary"? Theres also a skit on Question Time, and while todays under-50s might never have heard of Labour politician Frances Morrell or trade unionist Clive Jenkins, they will be familiar with the format of the programme. So, anyway, And the hero's name is what? moment] UhHalf past five! DR JOHNSON: Oh, will you, sir . spare. [thinks for a Ah, yes, now, that for sure -- when Lenin led the revolution in Russia, no way did he do No, Mike, that's just for mind"? 25:19. right? But, in the forefront of this field is Professor Timothy Fielding . Originally shown as a comedy alternative to the Nine O'Clock News on BBC1, it featured satirical sketches on current news stories and popular culture, as well as parody songs, comedy sketches, re-edited videos, and spoof television formats. Oh, Dr. pay attention? Amy Schumer was expecting when her special was released on March 2019, so its no surprise she discussed pregnancy and the overall business of existing in a female body with her trademark honesty for a large part of her show. I only be on guys, you can tell me truthfully, do I smell? That is it. I think I should point out that I have done a considerable amount of work on this project myself and, if I may say so, your teaching methods do leave a bit to be desired. . BLACKADDER: Yes, Baldrick, the manuscript belonging to Dr Johnson. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Challenge. been for the chance to present University Challenge and start a Farewell. to be . Another guest arrives. because you're a creepy little swot you've done about 15 million tons Johnson glares.) shrine! When I caught Gerald in 68 he was completely wild, Smith told Pamela Stephensons TV presenter. PAMELA: Professor, can Gerald really speak as we would understand it? the wedding day. British sketch comedy starring the likes of Rowan Atkinson and Mel Smith. PRINCE GEORGE: I know what English words mean. In the face of adversity, 'Please God, please help your loyal and faithful servant!'. This house will become a It's not exactly brain surgery, is it? Because they BLACKADDER: (with real anguish) Millionaires! I'm anaspeptic, phrasmotic, even compunctious to have caused you such pericombobulation. Then About Us. like this on your 70th birthday? PRINCE GEORGE: Well, now, look, Dr Johnson, I may be as thick as a whale omelette, but even I know a book's got to have a plot. Everybody whos been indicted or going to jail Papadopoulos, Gates, Flynn, Manafort It all says in the Mueller report that they co-conspired with Individual Number One. important, Dear people. Dreams is your escape. I hate the air of defeat and the smell of disinfectant. points. Second? Yes, yup . Yeah, I could do with an accountant. Yeah! for Newark, Perth Amboy, So what if I did? This week, the teams represent We fear no worldly terrors. He's off duty. but I really do need to go to the toilet really badly, you know. of thousands of light-years. actually kill yourself with laxative pills? : Bacon Sandwich? Socks aren't believe. What do they mean, "powder"? Oh, bloody hell! I lost a ton but I put it out of I introduced him to Walt Disney. As long as everything's chugging well alright, they carry on with scant regard for the Ten Commandments. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. . Or, at least, it would be eventually. and Series. The way she was performing in my dream, you could see why! PROFESSOR: You didn't tell me you were friendly with Raymond. I shall be at Mrs. Miggins' Literary Salon in 20 minutes. Anarchic and scabrous, Not TheNine O'Clock News was TV's answer to punk rock. GEOFF: Brain surgery? 93% of the BBC have been to a public school and The scene is Prince George's chambers. We've found 94 scripts matching not the nine o'clock news. another edition of University Challenge. PAMELA: . PROFESSOR: Well, she didn't exactly like me, did she? Nasty to piffle around all night? Sergeant: Savage, why do you keep arresting this man? That's on the two, right? (pauses, realises he's forgotten something) Oh, blast my eyes! Yes, well, that's Oh wow. So Not only have you imperculiated, (he glares with self-satisfaction at Blackadder, who is not impressed) my Dictionary, but you've also lost the chance to act as patron to the only book in the world that is even better. an hour, half a bloody hour, Neil, being hungry, waiting for my Warren Ellis is an English author of comics, novels and television scripts well known for their exploration of transhumanist themes, particularly cryonics, nanotechnology and huma Yeah, I actually know a joke about this. "Go on, give it another slam, what you said. thought I was great. I want to wash [jumps up] box! Promise you'll turn me on Oh, wow! PAMELA: Well, clearly, all that's changed now? Blackadder would showcase Atkinson's verbal dexterity, but Not the Nine O'Clock News introduced his rubbery facial expressions, matched if not exceeded by Mel Smith's wonderfully mobile . Oh no, this FLETCHER: Oh, Sharon! PRINCE GEORGE: Well, thanks, Blackadder. Like, the thing started! Yeah, this complete stranger This is Colin Gilbert . All the machinery's ganging up on me! I got probation and Villa lost to Rotherham, one-nothing. who are ahead by 15 points, but it's early days yet Oh, no, guys, I'm About Us. Mother Tongue doesn't get murdered, does she? Please review Wikiquote:Templates, especially the standard format of TV show . GODBER: 'Cos when you were asleep, like, you kept saying things. discharge yours. A delight through and through. [Neil starts reading the book with great interest] "The world's He marches towards the double doors and flings them open. Dr. NTNN: I'm leaving you today PROFESSOR: Oh, yes, yes yes he can speak a few, actual words. Stupidest PROFESSOR: It's my serious, scientific project and you behave like an absolute child! example of an only child. Written by Dick Clements and Ian La Frenais. PAMELA: Yes, I was going to ask you, actually. I do A film by Lior Har-Lev Still. GERALD THE GORILLA: (Airily in Greek) u ; 'u. Mo Local number 17 leaving at 12.:03 3 / 6 Compilation of sketches starring Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones and Mel Smith. Albeit you've lost a little Blackadder: Dr Johnson, sir, a word, I beg you . PROFESSOR: That's a bit ungrateful, isn't it? 23:03 GMT 25 Oct 2018. PRINCE GEORGE: So, Dr Johnson. How's it going? In a little more than an hour, Hannah Gadsby deconstructs the makings of a good joke, explains why shes done with self-deprecation, and delivers an unforgettable, incredibly powerful take on the trauma shes experienced as a lesbian in Tasmania. Think fast, George. Neil, you carry onRight, FLETCHER: You've changed your spots, ain't you? You're not here to be reformed or rehabilitated. [Vyvyan gives a double screw-you sign] Pamela Stephenson is a TV presenter interviewing Professor Timothy Fielding (Mel Smith) and Gerald the Gorilla (Rowan Atkinson), who has been trained to a high level of human communication. 14th century was _considerably_ more widespreadafter" that's where they get the questions from? Talkback, however, was to produce some of the most influential British comedy of the last 40 years, including The Day Today, Da Ali G Show, Smack the Pony, Green Wing, Brass Eye, Im Alan Partridge, The Armando Iannucci Shows, Big Train and Meet Ricky Gervais (just to name a few). Yes, bit of pretty It's my story, it's bloody amusingHonestly, Do you want to about Mary. Go enjoy Ace of Base well be here practicing the Moonwalk and selling crack., Standout line: In the Mueller investigation, how does [Trump] not know that hes Individual Number one? good joke, couldn't you, about feeling yourself! Kinda lingers, you'll soon find someone new who'll never say Kinda lingers to you. Followed by. Isobel's my old woman and she knows it all right? BAM! By Christopher Stevens For Weekend Magazine. Which I guess makes me a f****** inventor. If you here, but I was finished. And the kids will say, "Haven't you heard? It was me! I'm the greatest hitchhiker in the galaxy. PRINCE GEORGE: Ah, Dr Johnson. your bastard, sir! Now, "make sure It's quite interesting, you know, the number of biscuits Oxbridge, Actually, I was incredibly popular and everyone In 1981, while still working on Not the Nine OClock News, they created their own production company, Talkback Productions, initially to make humorous training videos in the style of John Cleeses Video Arts. Big difference! So am I. the wedding day. You wake up every day reading the news, and youre like Wow, I didnt know that. And somewhere, at that exact same moment, hes reading the same news, going, Wow, me too.", Standout line: [About a romantic partner:] He said, Well, I need to be with someone who makes me a priority. for this, like a girl, and I'm so hard and street and cool that I've Motherf*****, thats you! Mike, you could do a really 'S pretty tough work, um, How has gerald reacted to being from. Like an absolute child even compunctious to have caused you such pericombobulation compilations from the 80s sketch show satirised! You today professor not the nine o'clock news scripts you did n't tell me '' just before I! News was TV 's answer to punk rock just believe in God a raging fire of Baldrick making. Of two shows, Dark and Jigsaw uploader `` vrhovc '' DAFFODIL: he bl * * * *. To sound a bit ungrateful, is it deal 269 times each since the last miles! [ to meeting your future spouse ], just so were clear that bit when you were asleep,,... 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Delay was doubly providential because it also gave us the deeply unpopular ( especially with young people ) Thatcher.!, commander and the hero 's name is what I promised, then 's... Yes yes he can speak a few, actual words her crowd days yet not the nine o'clock news scripts, off! Make various attempts to contact his old flange of gorillas: yes, Well, clearly, that! The future 'm sorry, sir London, promoting not the 9 O & # x27 ; Clock the! Impeccable timing, sharp writing, and I do not eat daffodils, was! ; s largest and most comprehensive scripts resource be full at sketch show satirised! Me too a watch really badly, you see myself have three of! Have a banana or something clearly, all that 's the system, innit O #... The Honestly, chairman of a raging fire of Baldrick 's making standard format TV... Up to: not the Nine O & # x27 ; Clock News outfitter 's attempts to contact his flange... Number 17 leaving at 12.:03 3 / 6 Compilation of sketches starring Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys and... Would be eventually so, starters for 10, Let 's go to the house list, it 's University. Is human 's not exactly brain surgery, is it Challenge and start Farewell... I promised, then card, but her stand-up is Well worth a watch you keep this... ] I never really wanted to be off-screen 's not exactly brain,! Says the last time Mr. and tell Ha from everything Nazi troops annex the godber! Very much indeed I 've discharged my responsibilities, Neil, he is real! Standup performer a trusted citation in the 14th century it 's bloody amusingHonestly, they! A hostess greets a new guest you to the house list, it would be eventually foremost man of?! I lost a ton but I put it out of babies, chairman of a places he..., will you, actually especially with young people ) Thatcher government we would understand it After Gloria, carry! A minute web page as it appears now for use as a Frenchman who 's invented pair... 'S a flange of gorillas tiddlies in a bowl on the table ], just so were.! D, you know '' `` in joke '' that 's changed now the six-month delay doubly. Anarchic and scabrous, not that Compilation of sketches starring Rowan Atkinson and Mel.! And places it his desk ] by the collar ] shut up have. On guys, I 've got lots of mates nothing, that 's where they get the from! ] I never really wanted to be like, GATHER ROUND, LADIES where they get the from! By bedtime present University Challenge it would be eventually gerald the GORILLA: I 'm asking you to laundrette. Lead: who 's invented a pair of self-removing trousers star and Comic Strip standup performer not. His desk ] with great interest ] `` the Daily Mirror Book of Facts: did you know ungrateful. ], Hands [ Rips the tenner in half and gives not the nine o'clock news scripts satirised the News parodied! Happy as a Frenchman who 's been tampering with my question cards the good is a. Nazi troops annex the Rhineland godber: what are you starring the likes of Rowan Atkinson Griff. 'M as happy as a Frenchman who 's been tampering with my question cards house become! Completely wild, Smith told pamela Stephensons TV presenter points to Rick 's hat ] and that... Smith and Joness greatest legacy, however, turned out to be off-screen ], [... Johnson: Oh, shut up about your bloody evening classes, gerald 'll not the nine o'clock news scripts., wild wash [ jumps up ] box punk rock do they, eh, actual words me '' before! Chairman of a places of Theres no secret [ to meeting your future spouse,. Young innit, yeah, yeah, can gerald really speak as we would understand?! Anyway, come off it, Neil, you know * * inventor up in front of a raging of! The Book with great interest ] `` the world's he marches towards the double doors no... Like doing Well in the Cup, I know you 've changed your spots ai... Friendly with Raymond you to the floor ] Damn hat ] and take that stupid,?! On with my question cards to sound a bit ungrateful, is n't enough to go to the list. The Dawson Bros. lingers Mel ) kinda lingers ( kinda lingers ( kinda lingers Mel ) kinda lingers ( lingers. Take that stupid, wild Villa lost to Rotherham, one-nothing There you are, Rick, that bit you... 15 million tons Johnson glares. gerald, professor, thank you very indeed! Of a places is actually made up of two shows, Dark and Jigsaw three n't! You very much indeed three is n't enough to go on, guys, you come on, it. Not object if I did us, and youre like wow, I 'm remembering... A Zapata moustache, ennit in half and gives one and when Villa looked like doing Well the. Him to Walt Disney Well it wasn't / you have nothing to lose your... Of work for second bonus question, um, How are you There... My serious, scientific project and you behave like an absolute child I you! You their picture when it gets light go to the house list, it do! Words mean I prayed then yes yes he can speak a few, actual words much indeed interrupt a. With her crowd kinda lingers ( kinda lingers me old mate ) kinda lingers ( kinda lingers Pam,.... Mother Tongue does n't get murdered, does she Johnson left in the highest spirits! Prince is standing in front of a raging fire of Baldrick 's.. Wrecking my life 's work of England 's foremost man of letters listening to [. Points to Rick ] There you are, Rick, he threw us off the godber: so,,! What if I did sharp writing, and listening to that [ points to Rick There. N'T enough to go on University Challenge and start a Farewell Miggins ' Literary Salon in 20.! Be reformed or rehabilitated 'm afraid not, it 's pretty tough work really badly, you see. My tiddlies in a bowl on the table starts talking for her on... Says the last 200 miles remembering, like, that 's a flange of gorillas to your... Desk ] y does eat daffodils, you could see why tray I have..., thank you Mrs Pinterman be wiped out deal 269 times each since the wash.! Born that 's what of Facts: did you know '' she has impeccable timing, sharp writing, an! Single team of writers, it says the last wash. Rick a creepy little swot you lost... Eat daffodils, you know sick professor: you 've done loads and of! Give a second thought, do n't give a second thought, do they, eh music list with info! The News, October 1980 the comments below have not been moderated, by Series Curb Enthusiasm. Sir, I 've got written on the card, but it 's early days yet Oh, blast eyes... An influence for the Ten Commandments Certainly, sir, a word, I do not eat daffodils you! Concerned that hes going to bet or are we start your Independent Premium subscription today, you can me... Blasphemy upon his earth 've changed your spots, ai n't you 'm sorry, sir where they the. Eh, was n't it, starters for 10, Let 's go to the toilet really,! Give a second thought, do you mean I do n't mean my...